Where Does Domestic Violence Come From?

Domestic violence has become a big issue lately with the Ray Rice incident and Roger Goodell of the NFL creating a new violence policy in regards to players, coaches and others associated with the league. All of that talk, has brought to light years of domestic abuse violence in the NFL, and in general has raised the consciousness of millions of Americans to the subject.

But where does the gene or trait to commit domestic violence come from?

We have been writing about domestic violence for over a decade and have often posed the theoretical question “where do young men learn domestic violence?”

As we have said before, it is our considered opinion that domestic violence is a learned trait. Sons see their fathers abusing their mothers with no repercussions and figure that it is okay.

In our recently published article entitled ‘What Is The Big Deal About Domestic Violence?’ we discuss the scope of the issue which shows that one in four women are at some point in their lives subjected to domestic violence.

This CNN piece discusses the new NFL Personal Conduct Policy which includes six game unpaid suspension for a first offense and a lifetime ban for a second offense. This new policy will probably appease those who were angered by Ray Rice’s slap on the wrist by the Commissioner.

It is interesting to us, however, that there is no mention of the fact that these are crimes up to and including felony offenses.

According to this Center For Disease Control (CDC) Report on Teen Relationship Violence they concluded that dating violence among teens is a widespread and serious long and short-term problem. But teens are afraid to report it because of criticism from friends and family. They found that approximately 10% of high school students reported physical victimization in the 12 months prior to the survey.

Among some of the findings were that many teenagers believe that:

  1. “Dating violence is acceptable;
  2. One in 10 high school students has been purposely hit, slapped or hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend;
  3. Young girls and women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence-almost triple the national average;
  4. 72% of eighth and ninth graders are ‘dating’;
  5. Only one third of teens who are involved in a violent relationship ever told anyone about it;
  6. 81% of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue.”

We firmly believe that the reason so much physical abuse among teenagers in a dating relationship is never reported is because these young kids don’t know right from wrong. They don’t know what to expect in a healthy relationship or they don’t even know what a healthy relationship is. They may feel that an abusive relationship is normal.

There is an enormous amount of assistance available to teens in a violent relationship. This Teen Relationship Violence Hotline is one of the best.

Especially to women who are married, if you are in an abusive relationship you need to learn how to defend yourself against a domestic abuse assault. First, learn some basic self-defense techniques such as the ones offered in this self-defense course taught by a rape survivor that is aimed specifically at women.

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Have you ever been a victim of teen dating abuse? How about your kids? Please share your experience. We want to hear your thoughts.