Seven Crooks Who Need The Burglary 101 Refresher Course

We are not sure whether to laugh or cry when we read some of these stories about burglars and their escapades while doing the deed. We are not going to accuse all criminals of being a few french fries short of a happy meal, but it seems most of them are a little lacking in the first place. When it comes to brains and common sense, burglars seem to lead the way. But then again, if they were smart they would be leading a life of crime.

Yes we know how easy home burglary is, but many of these folks have managed to find a way to screw it up. It is apparent to us they never went to the course on burglary 101 to learn the basics of how to be a burglar. Why so easy you ask? FBI statistics show that in 34% of all burglaries the bad guys get in thru unlocked door and windows. Give me a break! How easy can homeowners make it?

One of those basic principles is to commit the crime during the daytime when there is a much better chance of the homeowners not being home. After all, you don’t want witnesses if you can help it. Another basic idea is to use stealth so as to not draw attention to your crime.

In our article the ‘High Tech Way To Catch Burglars’ we describe and discuss using surveillance cameras and the newest tools to catch burglars: social media of Twitter and Facebook. Check it out!!

Our first nominee broke into a funeral home in New Orleans, Louisiana. He stole $700 in cash and several thousand dollars of electronics. He then used one of the funeral home’s black Cadillac Hearses As A Getaway Vehicle. The whole episode was filmed by the funeral home surveillance cameras while he was wandering around the inside of the commercial facility. He seemed to have a familiarity with the business which led police to believe that he had some inside help or was a former employee. He got flat screen TVs, computers, and other electronic gear loaded into the hearse which had a very distinguishing purple light on the roof. So not only do the police know what he looks like, but also what his “getaway car” looked like. We are guessing the police didn’t have much trouble finding that vehicle.

The Seattle area police were looking for a Cat Burglar who was captured on surveillance cameras as she fell from the rooftop of the home she was supposedly burglarizing. The whole idea of a cat burglar is stealth. This Burglar woke up the two homeowners who called police. They are looking for a 5’5″ tall early 20 years old bungler. The moral of this story is to be quiet when doing your home burglary deed or else you will wake up the neighborhood.

Then in the Boston area, police are hot on the trail of the man who has broken into several homes over the last few weeks. In each incident he has made a point of encountering a homeowner or tenant often in a bedroom. When the resident wakes up the Apologetic Burglar apologizes for being there. Police are expecting at some point he may escalate this behavior and become violent. This burglar apparently did not take the burglary course either. One of the basic principles is to burglarize during the day when no one is at home.

This is an unusual one from the trendy Bel-Air neighborhood outside of Los Angeles. The home surveillance system captured images of five burglars who took an unspecified amount of cash, electronics and U.S. passports. One of the suspects who was caught on surveillance video taking a selfie. Police now have an image of one of the perpetrators and suspect that they are responsible for several other burglaries in the area. Hey bad guys, we already know what you look like-no need for further self-indulgence or gloating.

And then we know that burglary is hard work, but this story should wake up some would-be robbers. A woman who was hired to clean a home in Sarasota Florida called 911 after she found a stranger suspected of being a burglar sleeping on the job. The cleaning lady called police who got to the scene before the bad guy woke up. In the picture that was taken by the Sarasota County Sheriff’s office shown above, you can clearly see a bag full of stolen jewelry. The moral of this caper, get plenty of sleep before you burglarize a house and focus, man. After all, you are committing a crime-maybe even a felony.

Another example of how not to do it, a home in Houston, Texas was successfully burglarized with jewelry, computers, photographic equipment and musical instruments stolen. The value of the stolen property was in the thousands of dollars. The burglars made their getaway unobstructed. Their downfall was when they try to pawn some of the items and were captured on surveillance video at the pawn shop. Police are on the lookout for them. Hey fellas, be more discreet when selling stolen property.

And if you’re going to do a robbery and don’t want to get caught, keep your mouth shut and don’t brag about it. A father-son duo robbed a Minnesota pawn shop of over $200,000 in jewels. They successfully made their getaway to Georgia. A week after the successful heist, the two men were arguing and bragging about the crime they committed in a local bar there. Someone overheard them and yes you guessed it, that person called the police. One of the two burglars was captured and is charged with three counts of aggravated burglary. Gosh guys, you had a great start to a new life of crime but blew it with diarrhea of the mouth.

In Phoenix, Arizona, a UPS worker was accused of stealing a package that contained a $160,000 diamond and traded it in for $20 worth of marijuana. If this isn’t the Dumbest Trade ever, we’re not sure what is. He had to have some idea what he was stealing, or did he? Maybe he didn’t need the jewel or the money it could have brought, but gosh be a little smart. It just proves the point that you do not need many brains to be a criminal. By the way, the diamond was recovered and in true UPS fashion was delivered to the rightful owner. The thief, who got caught, will end up in jail right after he finishes the refresher course in burglary 101. Is there a crime for stupidity?

All of these examples are burglaries. Most of them are of residential homes. Burglary is historically one of the easiest crimes to commit and the chances of getting caught are slim and none.

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Another FBI national statistic shows that less than 14% of all home burglaries are solved. And burglars know this. This is most likely due to the fact that there are usually no witnesses and an overwhelming majority-close to 70% of all burglaries; are committed when the homeowners are not there. If we have more burglars like the ones above, that percentage will go up significantly.