Not So Sharp Burglars

This is our seventh installment of the series where we highlight criminals who are two or three french fries short of a happy meal. In other words, they’re not too smart! We don’t think it’s a coincidence that all of these criminals just happen to be burglars. And actually, that makes sense because burglars are at the bottom of the ladder in the criminal world. We see no evidence that you have to have any brains at all to be a burglar.

Are These The Dumbest Criminals? In today’s article, we highlight 10 burglars who fall into that same category.

In Fort Pierce, Florida a man who claimed to be a Real Estate Broker was arrested for burglary. He had a box of tools and a crowbar in his trunk. Officers also noted a list of addresses in the car. When asked what he was doing he told police officers he was checking out homes that were up for auction to see if they had any fire damage before he bid on them.

In Houston, Texas this burglar was trying on some Air Jordan sneakers he stole from an apartment. While he was bending over a neighbor snapped a photo of him with his bright red underwear visible above his jeans. You guessed it; the bright red underwear was his undoing. He wasn’t very hard to find-it gave him away.

In Beaver, West Virginia a man went into a pharmacy wearing full camo gear and a paintball mask. His intention was to rob the place. The would-be burglar started spraying pepper spray in an effort to take down employees. Instead, he walked into the cloud of pepper spray and was affected so much he had to leave. Hey pal, you are supposed to hold the nozzle of the spray pointing away from you!

In Crown Point, New York a resident followed a trail of corndogs from his house to a block away as he tried to investigate who broke into his home. The homeowner came back from a New Year’s Eve party to find his windows smashed and an Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, coins and three boxes of corndogs missing. A drop of blood was found in the man’s freezer. He went outside and followed the trail of corndogs to the suspect’s house. We think there is a rule in the burglar handbook that says don’t leave a trail behind you that can easily be followed to your hangout.

In Oakland Park, Florida the Sheriff’s office is looking for two men who were seen on surveillance video burglarizing a home. The video showed one man getting out of the car and knocking on the front door of the home while the other man walks back to the car accidentally glancing at security cameras. When the homeowner returned she discovered her back glass doors smashed and jewelry and a laptop computer were taken. Burglars should avoid at all costs looking at security cameras. We are surprised this guy didn’t smile.

In this story from the New York Daily News, a clumsy crook robbed a Denver, Colorado 7-Eleven at knifepoint and dropped his wallet on his way out the door. The Denver Police Department with perhaps a little bit of sense of humor posted a message on Facebook to the man saying “excuse me, you dropped your wallet.” The plea included a notice for anyone who knows the suspect to please tell him that DPD has his wallet and he can pick it up in any one of the Denver police stations. The robber fled the scene so quickly police could not track him down.

Police released this video of a man who robbed a livery cab at gunpoint. The robber ordered the cab driver to turn over his wallet with an unknown amount of cash. Police are looking for the suspect and asking for the public’s help. The cab had an interior video camera that clearly captured the image of the robber.

A Pennsylvania man was very happy that police found his wallet. That happiness quickly changed when those same policemen arrested him for his alleged role in a robbery. It seems the wallet owner dropped it in an alley near where a 60-year-old woman was robbed. The wallet contained his driver’s license. The moral of this story is if you rob somebody, don’t drop your own wallet.

In Augusta, Kansas burglars used a stolen truck to haul away outdoor goods at a tractor supply company store. The bad guys cut a large hole in a chain-link fence and got inside. What they didn’t realize was that they tripped the security alarm. Thanks to a quick response from law enforcement the bad guys got away with nothing including the stolen truck.

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Share with us your own stories about stupid things that you have seen in the criminal world. You must have at least one or two! Don’t be bashful-lay ’em on us!